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 | "Black holes are where God divided by zero." | |
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Found in the topic God.
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| "I have an existential map; it has "you are here" written all over
it." | |
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Found in the topic Existence.
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| "There aren"t enough days in the weekend." | |
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Found in the topic Unsorted.
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| "Borrow money from pessimists ? they don"t expect it back." | |
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Found in the topic Borrow.
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| "A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory." | |
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Found in the topic Conscience.
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| "A fool and his money are soon partying." | |
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Found in the topic Fool.
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| "All those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hand." | |
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Found in the topic Hand.
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| "Anywhere is walking distance if you have the time." | |
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Found in the topic Distance.
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| "Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm." | |
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Found in the topic Depressed.
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| "Even snakes are afraid of snakes." | |
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Found in the topic Animals.
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| "I couldn"t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder." | |
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Found in the topic Car.
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| "For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism." | |
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Found in the topic Action.
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| "I bought my brother some gift-wrap for Christmas. I took it to the
Gift Wrap department and told them to wrap it, but in a different print so
he would know when to stop unwrapping." | |
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Found in the topic Bought.
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| "I can remember the first time I had to go to sleep. Mom said,
"Steven, time to go to sleep." I said, "But I don"t know how." She said,
"It"s real easy. Just go down to the end of tired and hang a left." So I
went down to the end of tired, and just out of curiosity I hung a right.
My mother was there, and she said "I thought I told you to go to
sleep."" | |
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Found in the topic Mother.
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| "I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I"m home now. But
leave a message and I"ll call when I"m out"" | |
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Found in the topic Home.
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| "I have the world"s largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all
the beaches of the world.... Perhaps you"ve seen it." | |
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Found in the topic Collector.
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| "I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my car
going really fast, and stick it out the window. The harmonica sounds
?amazing.?" | |
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Found in the topic Music.
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| "I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in
time." | |
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Found in the topic Time.
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| "I put tape on my mirrors at my house so I won"t accidentally walk
through them into another dimension." | |
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Found in the topic Accidents.
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| "I saw a bank that said "24 Hour Banking," but I don"t have that much
time." | |
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Found in the topic Bank.
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