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 | "PRESENT, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of
disappointment from the realm of hope." | |
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Found in the topic Eternity.
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| "PHILISTINE, n. One whose mind is the creature of its environment,
following the fashion in thought, feeling and sentiment. He is sometimes
learned, frequently prosperous, commonly clean and always solemn." | |
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Found in the topic Fashion.
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| "LYRE, n. An ancient instrument of torture." | |
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Found in the topic Music.
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| "EFFECT, n. The second of two phenomena which always occur together
in the same order. The first, called a Cause, is said to generate the
other ? which is no more sensible than it would be ... to declare the
rabbit the cause of a dog [who pursues it]." | |
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Found in the topic Cause.
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| "PRESIDENT, n. The leading figure in a small group of men of whom ?
and of whom only ? it is positively known that immense numbers of their
countrymen did not want any of them for President." | |
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Found in the topic President.
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| "PRICE, n. Value, plus a reasonable sum for the wear and tear of
conscience in demanding it." | |
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Found in the topic Price.
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| "PRISON, n. A place of punishments and rewards. The poet assures us
that "Stone walls do not a prison make," but a combination of the stone
wall, the political parasite and the moral instructor is no garden of
sweets." | |
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Found in the topic Prison.
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| "PRIVATE, n. A military gentleman with a field-marshal"s baton in his
knapsack and an impediment in his hope." | |
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Found in the topic Privacy.
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| "PROBOSCIS, n. The rudimentary organ of an elephant which serves him
in place of the knife-and-fork that Evolution has as yet denied him. For
purposes of humor it is popularly called a trunk." | |
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Found in the topic Elephant.
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| "PROJECTILE, n. The final arbiter in international disputes. With the
growth of prudence in military affairs the projectile came more and more
into favor, and is now held in high esteem by the most courageous." | |
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Found in the topic Military.
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| "PROOF-READER, n. A malefactor who atones for making your writing
nonsense by permitting the compositor to make it unintelligible." | |
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Found in the topic Proof.
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| "PROPERTY, n. Any material thing, having no particular value, that
may be held by A against the cupidity of B. Whatever gratifies the passion
for possession in one and disappoints it in all others." | |
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Found in the topic Property.
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| "Absurdity, n. A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with
one"s own opinion." | |
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Found in the topic Absurd.
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| "TRUCE, n. Friendship." | |
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Found in the topic Friendship.
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| "LIAR, n. A lawyer with a roving commission." | |
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Found in the topic Lever.
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| "CREDITOR, n. One of a tribe of savages dwelling beyond the Financial
Straits and dreaded for their desolating incursions." | |
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Found in the topic Credit.
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| "Women of genius commonly have masculine faces, figures and manners.
In transplanting brains to an alien soil God leaves a little of the
original earth clinging to the roots." | |
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Found in the topic Unsorted.
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| "RASH, adj. Insensible to the value of our advice." | |
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Found in the topic Advice.
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| "DAWN, n. The time when men of reason go to bed." | |
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Found in the topic Bed.
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| "Bore: n. a person who talks when you wish him to listen." | |
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Found in the topic Bore.
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